First, eat all of the bacon that was supposed to be for the salad. He won't miss it too much.
Now that the bacon isn't taunting, eye that sweet potato that has been on the counter for almost-too-long. Grab the new cutting board mom sent for our anniversary and an old knife, fresh from the dishwasher. Slice potato into circles as thin as possible, sparing fingers. Don't want him to come home to a bleeding wife who smells suspiciously of bacon.
(Add mandolin to the Christmas list.)
Rummage through the cupboard for that old bottle of vegetable oil and dump it into a small pot.
Hope the meat thermometer goes as high as 375.
Toss in a handful at a time, turning until just brown and curly around the edges.
Remove with metal tongs and drain on paper towel.
Sprinkle with multi-purpose BBQ meat rub, courtesy of a generous co-worker.
Proudly place in cute red bowl. Chips will greet him from the table while you resume watching reruns of Family Guy.
