ciabatta, hacked.

I may never knead bread again.
Okay, that's probably not true, as I find the process quite soothing and reminiscent of my childhood; but I was finally compelled to try a "no-knead" recipe today. After finally succumbing to the futility of making lovely loaves of bread that I cannot consume, I happened upon a 60-second recipe for ciabatta that I could no longer ignore.

I rolled out of bed at 6:07am and dumped
two cups of warm water
1/4 teaspoon of yeast
4 cups of all purpose flour
1 teaspoon of salt
into my pretty Pyrex mixing bowl and slapped a piece of plastic wrap on it.

When I came home from work, it has risen to become this impressive blob of yeasty, gluten-filled goodness.

Thirty minutes before the arrival of our Wednesday night crew, I poured the dough into a pan, topped it with some dried basil and oregano and a generous handful of freshly grated Parmesan and tossed it in a 400-degree oven.

Twenty-five minutes later, this emerged:

Half-assed? Absolutely. But not half bad. My "I don't eat bread" husband chowed down on several slices, slathered with horseradish mustard and layers of corned beef and Dubliner cheddar.

Thanks, Kitchen Hack, for encouraging my desire to become lazy, happy, and fat.

Maybe eventually I'll buy one of those cookbooks. But maybe not, because it may exceed my 60-second time limit.

lady-friendly cakes

I found a lovely recipe last week for Chocolate Souffle Cupcakes with Mint Cream.

Usually, I steer clear of gluten-free recipes. I would rather bake a batch of cookies the way they're "supposed to be" and share them with others and perhaps have some fruit (okay, chocolate or ice cream) myself.
But this recipe was exciting. Flourless chocolate cakes! Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? Because they were prepared like a souffle, seperating and beating the eggs before baking, they were not as dense as other flourless treats, and a touch of peppermint extract balanced out the cream topping perfectly. And the best part, of course, was that I was able to partake.

Find the recipe (and a much, much prettier version of the cupcakes) here.

christmas bake-off part five:

I know.
It is January. And half way through January at that.
But I made my friend's dog some cookies for Christmas, but didn't see him until this week. The cookies had started to mold (Mold!?! What's that? Oh yeah, it's what happens to food that isn't filled with chemicals!), so a second batch was required.

Here's the recipe:

1/2 cup pureed pumpkin
4 tablespoons molasses
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons water
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix together wet ingredients and sift in dry. Drop on cookie sheet in teaspoon-sized balls and prick the tops with a fork. Bake for 15-20 minutes until they come off of the sheet easily.

Let cool. Feed to your husband pooch. (What? They're made of people food!) And make them work for it, just because you can.

Here's Stella, the cookie recipient. She seemed to enjoy the cookies, but she'll eat anything.

I saved some for Lucy, my doodle, as well. She prefers to eat wallets, cardboard boxes, and sports bras, but refused to eat her usual treats when I started baking these. Here's a gratuitous picture of her.

no baking required.

Or any prep whatsoever, besides keeping a keen eye for the freshest fruit and tossing them into your basket.

But what more could you want?


Super sweet mandarins
Crunchy, bitter chocolate
Smooth vanilla bean ice cream
And a waxy green leaf if proof of un-canned citrus is necessary.

I could eat this for breakfast, lunch, dinner...
And all of the meals between.

christmas bake-off part four:

So about those cupcakes.

There were far too many of them. They were given to co-workers, security guards, secretaries, home groupers, and homeless men, but contrary to the "Who has leftover cake?!" notion, well, I had leftover cake.

So our Christmas treat will be peppermint cake pops. I thought they were quite easy to make until I remembered that the cake and frosting had been finished several days prior and mixed into ball-able dough yesterday.

The resulting treat is satisfyingly cute and super rich, with a fun minty crunch of the candy cane at the end.

Find instructions here. I saw no need for the edible wax, used buttercream frosting, and homemade chocolate cake. If you're going through the trouble to make these, why not bake your own cake?

And there was enough chocolate left over to make a little Christmas eve treat for after our special meal--

Frozen chocolate covered bananas.

Merry Christmas to all!

christmas bake-off part three:

A repeat of the Thanksgiving challah for work Christmas pot-luck.

christmas bake-off part two:

It all started with one little cupcake. Cute, right? Not scary at all.
A dark chocolate peppermint cupcake with vanilla buttercream and crumbled candy canes on top. Even used a nice recipe from the sadly defunct Gourmet as a tribute (with added peppermint extract).
But then, they started to multiply-- tiny, minty warriors.

All the while, I feel ashamed. Will I be overtaken by a monster of my own creation?

But I regained control and paired them off, two by two.

One hundred and twenty-six tiny cupcakes later, they became the perfect army of happy homemade Christmas joy.